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H: Jeremy Milne, host
J: Justin Wilkes, Kiss FM presenter
HB: Hugh Brown, accountant
L: Lucy Davis, student
R: Ryan Copping, soldier
H: Welcome to Your Debate, I'm Jeremy Milne and today we're going to be talking about the matters that affect you from family life to getting a place at university to working in the real world, and of course the pressure to succeed. We're going to be tackling the main issues that young people face today, head on. Joining me in the studio are Justin Wilkes, a presenter on Kiss FM, Hugh Brown, an accountant all the way from Australia, and on my right are university student Lucy Davis and Ryan Copping, a soldier in the British army, so welcome to everyone. Now remember this is a live show so please enter your questions into the dialogue box below this screen and I promise you we'll do our very best to answer as many as we can. So let's get started with the family life, we've already experienced it, sometimes good, sometimes perhaps not so good. It does of course these days have many different dynamics, from traditional families to increasing single parent families and stepfamilies. Now I can tell you that some according to some research done by Army Pathfinder, 62% of young people say that they have healthy family environments, but how has your family life affected you? Lucy, traditional, healthy, how would you describe your family life?
L: I'd say healthy but perhaps not traditional. My dad left my mum when I was five, my little sister was three. He lives with my step-mum and my two stepbrothers. I'm the eldest, and they only live about 20 minutes down the road, so it's literally I see my dad 3 times a week when I'm not at uni, whereas my brothers whose dad lives in North Wales, they only see him 3 times a year, so it's a massively different experience being in a step family means
H: You describe it as healthy what are the pluses of it?
L: More presents at Christmas
H: It's all about the presents
L: And more holidays in the summer holidays! Yes I mean I've got 6 grandparents when some people only have one, so I'm lucky I think
H: Hugh similar experience or very different?
HB: Probably a little different, I'd still say healthy but I guess more traditional. My parents have been together for some 20-odd years and I've got a twin brother and two older sisters and my parents come from big families themselves so traditional family with yes lots of extended family and gatherings, so always something going on
H: So both very different but both very healthy and both very positive. I want to move to a first question that's been sent in from Roger, now he wants to know do you think that it's easier now for young people? because he believes that in his parents and grandparents' day it was a more disciplined lifestyle, a more disciplined pattern, and therefore much easier for young people to grow up in. What do you think Justin?
J: I think it probably was more disciplined environment to grow up in, and there were less influences as well, like 3 TV channels, not as much media, not having mobile phones, having to plan your week a bit further in advance, having to book your dates well in advance you know
H: So we're blaming technology?
J: Yes completely, now you know our phone rings and we can completely change what we're doing and rearrange our plans and get exposed to so many more influences much quicker
H: Do you think we sort of value childhood or growing up in a family now as much as we used to Ryan, what are your thoughts?
R: I don't know, I see today as a Playstation generation really isn't it, it's the same as mobile phones and I don't know it's like going back to families, if you go out and play football or something, you know your mum wants you to come to dinner, it's a phone call, it's not you're in for dinner, it's I'm just popping out so I don't know, I'm not sure really
H: You're not sure?
R: No
H: See I remember sort of growing up in Cambridge which is my home town and kids were allowed out on the streets but you know, get in before dark and certainly no sort of
R: When the first light goes on
H: When the first light goes on, but Lucy, you're a dare I say a touch younger than I am disciplined family background?
L: A touch? Yes I mean a lot of my friends from other schools, they all went out in the evening and you know went to the park and stuff when they were 15 with your bottle of White Lightning or whatever, but people at my school didn't really do that. I mean you could go to your friend's house to play after school but nobody was out in the evenings, we just didn't do it, nobody did it you went home and that was it, you did your homework or didn't do your homework, had dinner and then watched TV and played on the computer and stuff, we didn't go out but I know that a lot of people my age, other friends that I have did, so it just depends
H: But yours was disciplined you see I think it's just as disciplined now as it always has been. You're looking at me as though - I'm not sure you'll agree with me eh Justin?
J: I'm not sure that the responsibility is still there in a lot of family life these days. I think that sometimes parents can kind of push the responsibility onto the telly and onto the internet and let other things dictate the child's boundaries
H: Not spending so much quality time with their children
J: That's it, not engaging enough with children
H: Do you think that the way young people are viewed by the older generation is a positive thing? Do they think well young people are fantastic members of society and valuable and worthwhile members of society or they're just all troublemakers who lack discipline as Roger says in his email?
R: I think mixed
H: Mixed?
R: Mixed. Half and half I think because at the end of the day the kids of today at school are the future, you know they're the ones possibly could be our next prime ministers or inventing some you know new gadgets and stuff like that, so I don't know half and half I think
H: Do you know it's brilliant to hear you say that because I think it's too easy for people to sort of be negative about young people in society today
J: There's a lot of negative messages in the media about young people in society, it's all about binge drinking, it's all about teenage vandals, it's I don't think there's enough press for the good stuff that kids are doing
H: I totally agree, so we should be blaming the media and pointing the finger at them should we?
J: I think we should be encouraging the media to help with that image. It's easy the shock tactics in the tabloid papers, it's so easy to get a headline out of a kid that's just smashed up a war memorial or something instead of a kid that's just gone and helped an old lady, it's much more headline grabbing
H: Well Ruth actually is following up exactly what you said about headline grabbing and tabloid newspapers. She says if you believe the editors of the tabloid newspapers the breakdown of traditional marriage is indeed the root of all evil. Is that so Hugh?
HB: The root of all-evil?
H: Yes the breakdown of traditional marriage, is that really the problem with society today and the problem for young people?
HB: I mean I wouldn't say it's the root of all evil, I mean there's quite a few marriages that do break down these days and I have quite a few mates of my own who do have families that have broken up, and I don't think it has made them any more evil as such so I wouldn't go quite that far
H: No. Ryan? Pensive, thoughtful there?
R: Yes I don't know, I'm still thinking about that one to be honest. I'm not really sure on that one same sorts of thoughts as what Hugh was saying. I'm not too sure on that one really
H: Ok. Personally I'm not sure it is the root of all-evil and you agree with me, you doubt it as well. A lot of things. Well let's move on to another hot topic which of course is education, we've all been through it and again perhaps we've had a good experience of education, maybe not but today education's always being accused of being too easy or dumbed down, exams are too easy for students these days but is this fair? Lucy you probably took your exams before anybody else here, or more recently I should say than anybody else here
L: Yes I mean I've done exams in January and I'm telling you right now exams at university are not easy
H: Did you hear I'm telling you right now!
L: Seriously dumbed down they're talking about GCSEs and A Levels being dumbed down, I'm not going to pretend that I found GCSEs and A Levels particularly challenging, like they weren't that hard. I worked hard though, so it depends how much work you do. I worked really hard because I wanted to get good grades, so I did and did but at university it's a completely different ball game, it's a lot of work and it's really hard. Like I do a creative subject, I do English, so it's perhaps easier for me than my friend who does mathematical physics because there's more scope for getting things not exactly right
H: So you were very disciplined at school, presumably it sounds as if you had a positive experience at school. Ryan what's your experience of school life, did you enjoy being at school?
R: To be honest with you I wasn't really an education sort of person, I didn't like school. I was the kind of person that wanted to get out there, see the real world and earn the money, and to be honest with you I don't regret it, I don't regret not liking school, I don't regret not going to university or college at all. I'm happy where I am at the moment
H: You see I think that's the thing isn't it, I used to be a teacher and for for many years I just heard teachers saying to young people unless you go to college, unless you go to university you know you're not giving yourself the opportunities that you should be having and life's going to be much harder. But you've been you've had a very successful career haven't you?
R: You see I think that's rubbish because you know 22, I can say I've done and seen things that a very high percentage of people my age would never see or do, and do the kind of things that you're paid to do. So I don't believe in that to be honest
H: Ok
HB: Yes I think it really depends on the individual. I mean my twin brother for instance, he is a plumber by trade so I went the other way and went to university and did a finance degree and sort of did well that way, but at the same way uni was certainly not for him, so my parents suggested to him to follow my father whose a carpenter and really that was certainly the best thing for him. If he had have gone to uni he would have hated it and you know he certainly wouldn't have done as well as he's done now
H: And as a carpenter he probably earns more money that people with a degree
HB: Yes that's right
H: We've got a question in from Tom, he wants to know in reality does having a degree mean that you get a better job or is it better to work your way up? What do you think Justin?
J: Well I think you can get on the job experience and get to the same level whether you've got a degree or not. I mean I went to university but I haven't used my university skills now for the last 10 years, it's not helped my career, my chosen path in any way shape or form. I mean I did electronics and communications engineering at university and I now work in music and media which is completely separate and the skills really haven't come in handy, it's just initiative and working hard that's got me
H: Where you are today yes
J: Nothing to do with actual education or qualifications, other than you kind of your social skills and the stuff that you learn from going to college
H: Yes and spending too long in the bar
L: I don't think that having a degree means that you don't have to work your way up. Just because you've got a degree doesn't mean that you're walking straight into a top position, you might to perhaps maybe better paid or like more high job, but it doesn't mean that you're going straight to the top. Like when I come out of university I'm still going to have to work my way up. If I go into, if I choose to go into journalism or something like that I could start on a tiny salary it doesn't mean that you're going to walk straight into a big finance city job
H: But do you think there's too much pressure on young people these days to follow that route of school / college / university / job rather than doing you know what you did Ryan and thinking well I can't be successful unless I go to university?
R: No I don't
H: Too much pressure?
R: In my job, I mean as apart from doing exams to get into the army itself I've worked my way to where I am now, and 4 ½ years later I'm a lot better off than what I was when I first started. Obviously you having degrees can get you into higher places in the army but then you still have to work your way up, so there's always that working your way up
H: So there's a lot to be said for the university of life perhaps? Which is where I got my degree. Anyway JJ wants to know it's the same story that we're hearing earlier everything was better in the old days' it's all we ever seem to hear now. Education is easier now if you believe them, why do the older generation always have a downer on young people?
J: Because they're not young any more!
H: I know that's what I tell my kids I hate you because you're so young! Do you think it's just jealousy?
J: Very likely yes
H: Really?
J: I think that you know there's an element of as you get older of wanting to calm down yourself and then looking at the younger generation going a bit crazy and going oh I never did that but you did. And I think maybe some of the older generation have forgotten their hedonistic past!
H: Indeed I mean you immediately said when Justin said jealousy you went yes that's exactly what it is. You really mean that?
R: Well I think it's I don't know if it's just me coming from an army background but I'm seeing it as the older generation is like your boss, you're all running wild and getting drunk and going out clubbing and doing all this and they're like oh my God I can't believe they're running wild I never did that, same as what you said. I think it's that to be honest and I just think in maybe they're looking back thinking jealously, I wish I'd done that or maybe they're against it, they don't want us
H: I think for sure or am I wrong here that young people these days have greater choice, a lot more opportunities than people of my generation perhaps or you know my parent's generation do you agree?
R: A lot more rights
H: A lot more rights? That's a very good point
J: I think they probably know their rights a bit more and know that there's more options. I mean I remember doing the careers computer program at school and no matter what I put in about who I was and what I wanted to do, it came out oh you should be a teacher, and when you went through the sort of careers card system that we had in our school, there were probably only 20 careers that it ever recommended to you and obviously now with our system we notice how many hundreds of thousands of different career options and ways to make money and make a living there are
H: Yes I mean I think that you know young people today, as we said, have all those options and choices and I do agree that there's a lot of jealousy, but I also think it's the older generation forgetting actually that they were not that different from the younger generation, they still wanted to go out and party and they still did things that they're now looking at their younger sons, daughters saying you shouldn't be doing that I mean have you ever caught your dad out and said you used to do that dad?
L: My dad still does that! Seriously
H: Dad you shouldn't be doing it, you're too old!
L: I don't know, I'm making my dad look bad but he goes on work lunches and he gets a couple of pints and a couple of bottles of wine down him. I'm not suggesting in any way that my dad's like an alcoholic or something but he has his fun, I mean I know it's a work lunch but when it starts at 1 and ends at 5, that's not hard work
H: Oh I don't know, I think so, you have those sorts of work lunches, eh Justin?
L: He plays hockey as well and that's it's like rugby it's a big drinking scene, they all have I don't know 5 pints after a game or in the evening, it's a big social network as well so I think the older generation still have their fun
H: Right so are we saying that the older generation should value what the younger generation have to offer, just as you said they could be future prime ministers, doctors, soldiers, whatever is that generally the consensus of opinion here Hugh you're sort of nodding away?
HB: Yes I'd certainly agree with that. Yes they should accept the fact that we do have those opportunities and if we choose to take those opportunities and run with that then to have them there as support is the main thing I guess
H: Thank goodness that we all agree on something. Let's move on and do please keep sending in your questions to webchats.tv. We're going to be moving on now to hopes and dreams, the world of work 10 years from now for example where do you see yourself? Lucy I'm going to have to start with you because you're the youngest what are you going to be doing?
L: In 10 years time I hope I've had some sort of career but I'd quite like to be married with kids to be honest with my Range Rover Sport taking my kids to rugby practice
H: Not that you've got it all mapped out!
L: No that's what I want, I know what I want and if it doesn't happen I think I might be massively disappointed but I do want to have a husband and kids and in fairness be a housewife. I want to do that.
H: You want to be looked after?
L: Yes
H: So you don't want to work for too long then
L: This is the girl coming out in me ok, I'm the only girl here, don't bully me but all my friends want that too and I know that a lot of girls don't and they're not really fussed and they put career at the top of their list, I don't want to waste my degree but I do want to be a housewife for a certain amount of time of my life, I want to have my husband's dinner on the table ready for him when he gets home
H: You're going to have no shortage of husbands after you are you?
L: Well if anybody would like to apply there's a drought at the moment, I'm telling you!
H: Are we talking children here as well?
L: Three
H: Not a moment's hesitation 3 boys, one of each
L: Boy, girl, boy
H: How can you have one of each if you have 3 eh?
L: I want the boy to be the oldest so he can look after his little sister, but then I want my baby boy as well
H: Right
L: That's the plan
H: What particular age do you want these children?
L: I want married at 26, kids at 27 / 29 and 31. I want to be a young mum.
H: Well good luck to you what would happen
L: I think I've just scared off the male population
H: I mean let me ask a question, is Lucy, as a young person right in thinking this is the way I want my life or should she perhaps be a little more flexible in the way she looks at her future?
J: I'd say quite entitled to your own opinion and where you want to be. It's pretty impressive that you know exactly what you want to do over the next 10 years. I think I'd probably struggle to map out the next 10 years now and I think
H: I struggle with the next 10 minutes!
J: 10 years ago I'd have probably said the same thing, I'd quite like to be more settled now and probably the media world is not all that stable career-wise, as you know, it's quite a sort of rocky place to work and I'd have thought by now I'd have slowed up and got you know but I haven't and probably in 10 years time, as I say now you know I'd like to be settled but I don't think it's going to happen
H: I mean I don't think you're alone perhaps in saying that you know when you first left university you weren't quite sure what you wanted to do, when you were at school you know you weren't quite sure what you wanted to do. We've got a question in here from Pete Wise he wants to know is it ok just to drift into a career and hope it will be fine? All my mates have big plans but I'm 19, I still haven't got a clue what I want to do for the rest of my life. I mean should you know by 19 what you want to do Ryan?
R: I didn't, although I was in the army I still think in a way I drifted into my career, but that's coming from my background. But no one knows what you want to do. It's the same as decorating your house, you never finish decorating
H: I haven't even started so
R: There you go but I don't know I think that's ok
H: You think that's ok. What do you think Hugh?
HB: Yes I'd certainly agree, at 19 you haven't really experienced the world and you can have an idea about where you want to go but I know since I was 19 my path has changed since then and for the better I feel now, but at the time I probably would have thought that if I had gone this way it would have been for the worse, so I guess you just really need to just see how it goes out over those years in particular as you move into a real career path and look at whether it wants to be a family and settle down and that sort of thing it's not anything to get too worried about
H: No I don't think so either. I mean gone are the days when you know people had a career for life and I think perhaps and tell me if I'm wrong here that young people now can move from one career to the next and it's acceptable and it's ok to do that, it's a good thing to do that isn't it Justin?
J: Yes I'd say so. When I graduated and I was doing the work in electronics, that was seen as a career for life and when jumping into the media world and becoming a DJ was quite an unstable thing to do and a lot of the older generation said to me at the time they said you're leaving a job for life, you know you could be there forever, you'll have a great pension, you'll have share options and I was like maybe I'm doing the wrong thing here, well that company ended up going from being one of the biggest telecommunications providers in the world to pretty much over in the 5 years after I left, so you never know and nothing's a dead cert these days and I think you've got to follow your heart a bit more with your career options and do what you want to do and what you enjoy more than kind of thinking that long term
H: Yes I mean you went into the army at what age Ryan?
R: Just turned 18
H: Right and did you see that, or do you see that as a career for life or do you think about well maybe when I get to a certain age I'll use the skills and experience that I've got from the army to do other things?
R: I mean the army is a career. I mean obviously you can do your 22 years, you can go on and do more and more and more and you do get qualifications throughout it so all these different electronics communications, all these different qualifications, but I don't particular see myself I don't know where I'm going to be in 10 years time. I kind of take a day as it comes at the moment to be honest, after recent experiences and I kind of live life to the full a little bit more and I respect life a little bit more to be honest with you
H: Ok, you've Lucy as you've told us have got your life mapped out at 19 did you or is it ok in your opinion not to know what you want to do?
L: Well I'm 20 and a half
H: The half's important
L: The half's important! The half's important, but I don't know what I want to do with my life it's Easter holidays now and I'm doing work experience and that's part of me trying to decide what I want to do with my life, because I think people don't really know what different careers involve, they have their perception but they don't really know what it involves, so to do work experience is a really good thing to do because you get an actual experience of different jobs and that's what I'm trying to do at the moment so that then I can focus myself a bit more, have a bit of direction
H: I'm going to stop you there for a moment Lucy because we've just had in a question from David specifically for you actually
L You're joking?
H: Don't look so worried, no I'm deadly serious. Lucy, what company does your dad work for and can I apply? The 4 hour lunch hour seems great.
L: He works for Miller Davis, it's his own company, it's in Beckenham so you're quite welcome to go and have a nice wine lunch at Davies with him if you want to
H: Right so if you want a 4 hour lunch you've got to own your own company is basically what Lucy is saying. On a more serious note Steve has emailed us and he wants to know I'm in my 20s and I like it, I have more freedom and fun than my parents did, I just worry that I'm going to have to work till I'm 90 paying for the pensions for the older generation when I won't have one. What does everyone think?
J: It's quite a scary thought yes isn't it? All the taxes that we pay at the moment, are we going to get the benefit of it in when we're into old age. I'm not sure we are.
H: Pensions. Do you even think about pensions Ryan?
R: I do actually yes
H: Do you?
R: Yes because the Army Office is the best pension in the world, so I don't pay towards it and I get it when I do my time so yes
H: But was it something that you thought about when you went into the army?
R: When you're young you don't think oh I want a pension in 34 years time, you don't think about that, but it's only because you get it drilled into your head when you're in the training, when you're in the army you're constantly doing paperwork, you're getting offered different pensions all the time, different all the new contracts that come out so
H: But isn't it isn't it a part of being a responsible young person Hugh, that you think ahead about pensions and financial planning and all these sorts of things
HB: Yes
H: Or should it just be hey I'm 19 I'm going to do what I want, I'm going to live for the day, and not worry about tomorrow?
HB: Yes well I mean I guess coming from a financial background I often have
H: You see that's why I asked you
HB: I thought that's what it was, so I have sort of had that foresight I guess to look ahead financially and think that ok you know I might want to invest in some property now or something like that so that I might have, you know that sort of benefit in the long term, but at the same time I mean we're still young and you don't need to get too worried about it, but having said that though I do still think that it is a good idea to think about that, I mean because you can't really you're not going to lose much from doing it, my parents and even my elder sisters have suggested to me that if they had their time again they might, you know, put some money aside and that sort of thing, so I think it is a good thing in the long run, definitely
H: I mean I've got a 21 year old son and a 19 year old son, I don't think they've considered pensions for a moment. I mean do you get a lot of young people in your industry coming to you saying I need some financial help, I need some financial planning or are you seeing less young people coming through the door?
HB: No I wouldn't get many 21 year olds coming in
H: They just want their surfboards and run to the beach don't they?
HB: That's right yes, no there wouldn't be too much of that. But I mean yes, they've still got some time to get their stuff together and sorted out, so
H: I mean I don't know how many years' time it may be that possibly you could be a father Justin and when if and when that happens and your children grow up, would you encourage them from an early age to think about their futures and you know where they're going to be and their pensions, and as Lucy said with her life plan?
J: I think I would encourage them to be sensible with their money, not necessarily point out particular investments, but just kind of instil like discipline from an early age that if you want something you know you work hard and you save for it, I think that's a good quality to have
HB: Yes there's certainly much way too many children and kids these days just going out with mum and dad's credit card, or their own credit cards and you know huge amounts of debt and they're not even contemplating how they're going to pay it off
H: Yes, they kind of want to keep up with everybody else don't they?
HB: Yes
H: They read things in papers or magazines or see stuff on the TV and they think well I want they're kind of following role models aren't they? Are role models important to young people Ryan?
R: Yes I think they are, at the end of the day all the clothes we wear now we've seen on someone and we've gone oh I like that so it comes down to that. Yes I think it is important
H: Yes. Let's go to a question from Clare because it kind of links in. She wants to know do you think reality TV shows and the tabloid obsessions with celebrities means that every young person wants to be famous just for the sake of being famous and nobody really wants to work for a living any more? (Apart from your dad). That's what my gran says. You know, is there an obsession with being famous just for the sake of it Justin?
J: Yes I think so
H: Yes
J: I think there's a lot of people who want to be famous for the sake of it. I think there's a lot of people that see the reality shows and actually see people that aren't that talented make a lot of money out of not being talented
H: Yes
J: And they think that is a career option, which it kind of is, but it's a lottery rather than a you know a sensible way of going about things
H: I mean presumably you didn't enter into the world of media and radio and presenting because you wanted to be famous?
J: No
H: Or did you, I don't know
J: No I actually it was a total obsession with electronic music that got me into it. I was DJing in clubs I never intended to be to speak on the radio. Never intended to be a kind of front man for a show, I just wanted to play music to people, that was how I did it, and the rest of it was a complete accident
H: Hugh, ever had dreams of being famous? You don't hear of many famous accountants, I've got to be honest!
HB: No. No not really. I guess only sort of famous line that I would have liked to have taken would have been sport-wise, I'm heavily into my sports and that type of thing but I guess I I'd maybe want to be famous but only for a little while, you know I mean it's obviously there's just so many things that people in your face every time, you can't just walk down the street if you're that famous
H: Sure but understandable do we think that young people have an obsession with being famous because of all the tabloid press and reality TV shows? What do you think Lucy?
L: I think that the tabloids should warn people away from wanting to be famous because a friend of mine's just become really well known and he's taken an absolute battering in the papers for certain things that he's done that he's 20 years old, we do silly things, but if you're in the spotlight they're going to pick up on that and they're going to pick you apart, and the better he does the more they're going to pick him apart
H: So we should be aware?
L: Yes
H: And I guess the media and the press have a responsibility to make young people aware. Last word with you Ryan, did you ever want to be famous? Or do you want to be famous?
R: Not so much famous as rich I think! I'm not bothered about the cameras and the people running after you, I just want the lifestyle you know
H: Money in the bank account
R: Fast cars, fast women and nice clothes!
H: In that order?
R: Yes ok
H: Would that be true of all your friends as well do you think? Is that something that young people aspire to?
R: I think it is to be honest, I mean I don't know about other when I was 20, 21 I was going out and spending stupid money on fast cars and clothes and wrecking them, and now I think to myself what an idiot
H: Why did I do that
R: Yes I could have just have had a normal, nice car and I could have saved a bit of money but no I don't regret it, it was fun
H: I think it's to do with and I don't know if I'm right or wrong here that and I guess this kind or wraps up what we've been saying that young people today are just as responsible, of course they're going to live like young people and people like me have had too many birthdays we're just jealous aren't we? I'm looking at you and saying we I don't know why sorry! But anyway so much to cover and unfortunately so little time, thank you for all your questions, I hope we've covered as many as we possibly could. Thanks of course to my guests, Lucy, Ryan, Hugh and Justin and thank you very much for watching

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