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Jennifer wants to know: "Why
are people often not very sympathetic towards people who have lost a pet?
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Claire Branigan said: |
People form
very strong bonds with their pets and for none pet owners it is sometimes
difficult to understand why someone is upset over a loss of a pet. Pets bring
lots of benefits such as, friendship, companionship and they are good for our
health. It is natural to grieve over a loss of a pet but not everyone can
understand. |
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Darren wants to know: "My
friends will think I've gone soft if I hold a service when my cat dies. How can
I convince them to take it seriously?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
Explain to
your friends just what your cat means to you and talk to them about how you
would like to mark his passing with a ceremony. If they still don't take you
seriously perhaps you can involve other members of your family.
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Greg wants to know: "How can
I create a memorial page for my pet on the Blue Cross website? "
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Claire Branigan said: |
'Remembering
your pet' is a new service that has been launched today to enable people to
remember their pets. Follow the links on the website www.bluecross.org.uk and
there will be a set of simple instructions which will help you create an online
memorial. |
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Sarah wants to know: "My
brother's dog died recently. Is it appropriate to get him another one so
soon?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
The best thing
to do is to talk to your brother about how he feels about getting another dog.
It is important to remember that another dog should never be seen as a
replacement as he will have his own character. He will know when the time is
right but don't rush it. |
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Peter wants to know: "My
seven year old son's jack russell, Jumbo, has recently passed away. He is
insisting that he wants another Jack Russell and that he wants to name it Jumbo.
I know this is an unhealthy way of avoiding dealing with his grief. What can I
do to help?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
Your seven
year old son may be dealing with his first experience of loss. He may be unsure
of what death actually means and it's important to talk to him in an open and
honest way. Try to explain that Jumbo has gone and wont be coming back and then
talk to him about getting another dog but remember to explain that a new dog
will be very different to Jumbo. Getting a
dog can be maybe helpful, so don't dismiss this and how your son is feeling
about it. |
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Marie wants to know: "Do you
think the death of a pet is more distressing for adults or children?"
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Claire Branigan said: |
I think that
every situation is different and it is a very personal experience so very
difficult to say. However, for children it may be their first experience of
losing someone close to them and the way in which they and those around them
deal with the situation can lay the foundations for how they will cope with
losses later in life. |
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Superjane wants to know:
"What is your role at Blue Cross, Claire?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
I am a
Helpline Co-ordinator for the pet bereavement support service which is a
National Helpline and email service, which offers comfort and reassurance to
bereaved pet owners. |
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Jim wants to know: "Who mans
the Blue Cross pet bereavement telephone helpline?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
The helpline
is manned by a network of trained volunteer befrienders who take calls and
answer emails. |
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Mary wants to know: "My
niece's cat has had a stroke and will probably pass away soon. Do you have any
helpful suggestions about how to make this time easier for her? "
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Claire Branigan said: |
Hi Mary! I
would suggest trying to prepare your niece for the experience of loss. Talk
honestly and openly and perhaps use this as an opportunity to talk about love
and loss. Don't be afraid to express your own feelings and remember that
children can be very resilient. |
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Jennifer wants to know:
"What inspired the creation of the online memorial pages? "
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Claire Branigan said: |
We often take
telephone calls from people who are wondering what they can do to mark the
passing of their pet. We always encourage people to remember their pets in some
way and the creation of the online memorial page service seemed like a great way
of offering this. |
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Trev wants to know: "Are
there any pet cremation services in the UK?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
There are and
if you call our helpline on 0800 096 66 06 one of our volunteers will be able to
give the contact details of a pet crematorium in your area.
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Jimbob wants to know: "My
son has some goldfish. If / when they die should we make the effort to have a
proper funeral or is it acceptable to flush it down them down the toilet (I
know it sounds heartless but this is what happened to my fish when I was
young!)?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
Hi Jimbob! My
suggestion would be to talk to your son about what he would like to do when his
goldfish died. Children often gain comfort from some sort of ceremony or ritual
and this can be a helpful way for them to say goodbye. |
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Chris R wants to know: "Do
you know of any pet cemeteries?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
There aren't
quite so many pet cemeteries but again if you call our helpline they will be
able to advise you. |
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Tony wants to know: "What's
the most unusual pet you've heard of someone holding a funeral for?"
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Claire Branigan said: |
We take a huge
range of calls on the helpline about a variety of different animals/species.
Whilst dogs and cats are the most common animals to hold a funeral for it is not
unknown for someone to want to mark the loss of a rat or snake for example.
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Bee wants to know: "I would
like to get my 6 yr old a pet for Xmas - what would you recommend?"
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Claire Branigan said: |
We would
always suggest that Christmas is not an ideal time to introduce a new pet to the
household. New pets require a lot of time and attention and this is not always
possible over the busy festive period. |
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Haven wants to know: "My dog
died 5 years ago and I still grieve for him. Is that normal?"
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Claire Branigan said: |
Grief is very
personal experience and is difficult to put a time limit on it. Haven, you may
benefit from talking things through with one of our volunteers who will be able
to understand and share your sorrow. |
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Kirsty wants to know: "Could
I call the helpline any time of the day?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
The helpline
is open from 8.30am - 8.30pm seven days a week, with an answering machine
outside these hours. The number to call is 0800 096 66 06. |
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Todd wants to know: "I work
all day and there is no-one in the house until 5ish. What are my best pet
options?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
There are lots
of different options available to you and again I would suggest having a look on
the Blue Cross website where there is lots of information and advice about
different pets needs. I am sure you will be able to offer a loving home for the
right pet. |
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Bevan wants to know: "Do you
disagree with Taxidermy when your pet passes on?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
Whilst it
wouldn't be my choice, Taxidermy may bring some people comfort at this difficult
time. |
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Emma wants to know: "Is
there someone who will taker care of burying my cat - don't thing I will be able
to handle that myself?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
I can
understand that you are concerned about how you might cope on this situation.
There are other options available to you and it might be worth talking these
through with a befriender. Pet crematoriums offer a range of services and may be
an alternative to burying your pet. |
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Kerry wants to know: "The
Blue Cross literature seems to only focus on helping children deal with the loss
of a pet. How about help for older people who lose a pet as losing a pet can be
very traumatic for pensioners?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
The pet
bereavement support service does offer support and advice to bereaved pet owners
of all ages and from all walks of life. The children and pet bereavement leaflet
was developed as a direct response to requests from anxious parents who were
seeking advice as to how best to support children through the loss of a pet.
Perhaps some specific literature aimed at older people is something we could
look at doing in the future. Thanks for highlighting this. |
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Sarah wants to know: "Why do
you think that people are too embarrassed to admit to their feelings of
loss?" |
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Claire Branigan said: |
Sadly,
grieving for the loss of a pet is still not always considered as socially
acceptable. People are also often very surprised at the strength of their
feelings following the loss of a pet and because it is not openly discussed
people can feel embarrassed about the way they feel.
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